More on affairs
Forget right or wrong. Affairs are dangerous for people in abusive relationships.
There is, of course, the obvious reason an affair is dangerous: your spouse may find out and do you grievous bodily, mental, or financial harm.
Then there are less obvious reasons.
Though it might be hard to imagine, there is a good possibility that your affair may end unpleasantly. If your lover breaks your heart, you can be sure your Narcissistic S.O. will be there to pick up the pieces. After having your heart torn out and thrown against the wall, you might feel lucky to still have someone who ‘really loves you,’ so much in fact that they are willing to take you back ‘after what you’ve done.’
Even if you are the one to leave the affair, there is a good possibility that you will feel guilty (even if you did not set out to have an affair, but fell for someone unawares) and this guilt may obscure the abuse that caused you to want to get out of the relationship in the first place.
So the worst part about an affair is the lack of focus. You may lose sight of why your relationship is really ending. Your Narcissistic S.O. will help you forget, if he or she can. It’s what they do best.