“She’s not as bad as she used to be”
My wife is not nearly as overtly abusive as she used to be. She likes to point this out sometimes.
But then you have to ask yourself: has she grown less abusive or have I grown more compliant? If I did not fit the mold that she insists I fit into, would the past abusive behaviors resurface? Did the death and suicide threats really end or did I simply stop giving her reasons to make them?
Even so, the abuse is less obvious now but I am not sure it is actually less. Perhaps when I showed that I would no longer tolerate continuous berating, that’s when the covert tactics surfaced. Or predominated, I guess. They were always there.