more long (and winded) post

by imnotyourfavoritepossession

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Yesterday morning, things started clicking. I realized the foolishness of my misplaced compassion. Not that compassion is ever wrong, but it suddenly dawned on me that my wife could very well be in prison for what she’s done to me. (At least, if I am right about the NPD scenario.) It isn’t totally unlike an Elizabeth Smart situation. Here I am, realizing I’ve been ‘kept’ under duress and coercion all these years. It feels accurate to call it unlawful confinement or whatever.

After my morning epiphany, I had lunch with my daughter. I felt emancipated. It was an interesting taste of the difference freedom might mean in my life. I felt it was perhaps not too late to make a difference in her life. And mine.

I mentioned money in my last post but didn’t get a chance to finish the thought. I wouldn’t miss the money. I’d be happy in a little trailer on a couple of acres.

Despite all of my inner turmoil, in a way, this feels so much like a miracle. It’s like the missing piece, the key to the confidence I lack as a person and as a performer, dropped in my lap by some incredibly kind angel. It seems almost too easy. Did I manifest it out of thin air?

Don’t look a gift (from an) angel in the mouth.