notes for future topics

by imnotyourfavoritepossession

why is it difficult to leave?

compassion: you love your spouse and don’t want to hurt them or ruin their lives and careers by exposing their abuse

threats (I will kill myself, I will kill you, I will kill your family, I will be forced to (fill in the blank, any of innumerable undesirable actions)


fear of violence

blackmail: of course you’ve shared your biggest mistakes and secrets with your spouse (but have they shared theirs with you? doubtful)

forms of abuse:

intimidation/don’t mess with me:


veering car when angry

subtle violence: (‘accidentally’ hurting or endangering you or your children; destructive outbursts; breaking things)

criticism and complaining (everything must be just right. but ‘just right’ is ever-shifting. (keeping you off-balance)